A public service announcement

For today's on-the-move zombie

First off, let me say that I actually have quite a bit of respect for this product. Unlike hot dogs, spam, jello, or the intentionally vague "potted meat" products, all of whom hide the fact that they use various generally-considered-unconsumable body parts, this product bravely proclaims: hey, I'm a fucking disgusting body part from a dirty, ill-treated animal! It's almost a dare. You want some of this? Exactly how strong is your constitution? Are you man enough to eat pork brains, smart guy?

But more than that, I also respect it for the simple fact that it manages to pull off the unholy disgusting food product trifecta:
-meat in a can? Check
-animal products generally thought of as inedible? Check
-highly perishable food items, yet is somehow non-perishable? Check mate

Seriously, why did they have to soak this in, of all things, milk gravy? That's the fecal cherry on top of this shit sunday. What were those geniuses at Armour thinking? Really? I imagine the production launch meeting going something like this:
-Marketing VP:... And that's why we feel we are perfectly primed to tap the largely unexploited animal brain market with this product.
-CEO: Ok, that sounds good, but is there a way we could make this product even more repulsive to Kosher Jews?
-Marketing VP: Yes! Milk gravy!
-In Unison: Mazel Tov!
*Execs all clink their champagne glasses, which, as the camera pans out we see are filled with horse blood [real product]*

Oh, and there are other things gross about this. Of course, there's the Nutritional (using the term loosely here) Facts on the back:


1200% of cholestoral, my friend. That's not easy to pull off. Two weeks worth of artery cloggers in one 5.5oz can. Your move, Baconater! I wonder if it would actually be better for your heart if you skipped eating this junk and just stuffed it directly into your artery.

And for those of you out there thinking "I'd love some pork brains, but I only have recipes for monkey brains", Armour has got you covered:

"Step 1: Drain brains. No Mister President, that's not what I... oh, nevermind."

Robinson's Banshee Vocal Academy

For your first lesson, shriek as if to lure wary sailors to their death on the low waters.

If I don't get this job, I'ma be pissed

As part of an evaluation for this tech writing job I'm interviewing for, I have to complete a grammar and writing skills assessment. So now, please see the product of many hours of work today: a lock-step, pithy 5-page instructional manual on how to create a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich.

This isn't even an Onion headline

Just when you think you have the world figured out, you see something like this:

Anti-emo Riots Break Out in Mexico:

"...the violence began March 7, when an estimated 800 young people poured into the Mexican city of Queretaro’s main plaza “hunting” for emo kids to pummel. Then the following weekend similar violence occurred in Mexico City at the Glorieta de Insurgents, a central gathering space for emos."

There's even a pro-violence blog that claims to be leading the "Anti Emo-sexual Movement" (which is a pun on homosexual and probably makes more sense in Spanish, since the H is silent). There's a video, which I can't understand, but which doesn't stop it from being funny.


Apparently, the main leaders of the riots are punk rockers (who really don't seem that different from emos to me, just less depressed, but what do I know) and - really I'm not making this up - rockabillys (you can see a few in the video). Rockabillys? Really?

Good Day Comrades!

This just in... checking the Google Analytics report of site traffic to Wigs By G's, I see that there are a grand total of 8 visitors to the site hailing from Russia - a terrific milestone!



Hello, Russia!!!

New Teriyaki Boyz featuring Busta Rhymes

Luke called me from Japan just to tell me about this. You can really hear the Chacarron influence.

And you thought Obama Girl was annoying...

Trust me, watch this entire video--funny stuff.



Because of this video, not only do I not want to vote for John McCain, I also want to leave this country and never look back.

Shrooms the Movie...

I want to see this with Tyler.

Might be an indicator of rape?

Who's to say what is behind this girl's morbid fear of pickles?

10 Atl​​ant​​a Gra​​ndm​​oth​​ers​​ are​​ arr​​est​​ed for​​ protesting at a Arm​​y rec​​rui​​tme​​nt cen​​ter​​

Sarah posted this on Myspace and I had to add it here...

Hangover double feature

The world needs more of this. Whatever it is.


Let us make you commercial. See how good we make commercial?

The Bolton Boys

These guys used to live at 2131 Bolton Rd. Aka the Sonz compound. Does anyone else find this oddly coincidental?

Wig for thought

This July, Wigs By G's will celebrate it's one year anniversary as Web 2.0's most treasured aggregator of absurd and ironic videos and images. Even, rarely, the written word.

What should the infamous Wigmasters of Wigs By G's do to celebrate this milestone? The time is now to brainstorm, and given the snail like pace of our production of most things, the timing should work out perfectly for the celebratory endeavor to commence.

Please post comments with your suggestions, I will throw out one to get us started:

Wig party - everyone comes wearing a wig

Troll 2. Think about the toxins

What a God awful movie.

I $%#% slowly...

The Iron Sheik tells it like it is

The Marta Bus

You can just ride the MARTA bus around, according to this guy.

Baseball boogie

During the late 1980's A.D., somtime before sarcasm and carefully-manicured apathy scored their ultimate triumph in the First Irony War, the always-evocative world of sports-related culture was going through a dark time. Self-love, third-person-speaking, and delusions of granduer were everywhere trouncing the forces of self-criticism, self-respect, and second-thoughts. The casualties of these great battles lay scattered across the cultural wastelands: choreographed endzone dances, the movie Cool Runnings, professional wrestling, any Ricky Henderson interview. Unwilling to let the Bears' sports-cultural cross-over hit The Icky Bowl Shuffle stand alone as the sole future-wince-inducer of the era, the LA Dodgers decided to make a little travesty of their own. I give you the Baseball Boogie:



Luckily for us, gangsta rap has replaced 80's cheese-hop as the soundtrack of the sports world and has forever changed the self-image of pro atheletes. Goodbye fun-loving kids living their dreams, hello hardened street-credible proto-gangsters. Rather than making goofy, guileless rap songs, our stars are following more respectable, irony-proof hobbies, such as underground dog-fighting rings, starting massive club brawls, strip club drive-bys, and leading back-alley stick-ups. Personally, I consider this our Golden Era.

Sexxy for Jesus

Lose 10 pounds and 10 years in purgatory at the same time.

New Gnarls Barkley

"Run." Crazy fresh.

It's hard being me