Hand Knight had a better plot...

When changing your movie marquee from Hancock to The Dark Knight, it might be better to work from right to left...


But when you're putting up a billboard for Hancock, you should start in the other direction.

Hungarian Cassette-player Commercial

From Something Awful - "Tough Choices" My favourite:

Whenever you talk, live shrimp begin crawling out of your mouth.

What the Shit?

From the article:

A tipster says that there is "a government animal testing facility very close by in Long Island," but unless the government is trying to design horrible Montauk monsters that will eat IEDs and fart fire at bad Iraqis, we're not sure why they would create such an unthinkable beast.

Personally I'm more worried about running into one of these...



Fuck that!

A step down

The music industry has finally jumped the shark. Backwards. Inside a fridge. Have you heard Chris Brown's new song "Forever" yet? Yeah, me neither, but it goes like this:



A hit song? Yes:

In April, Mr. Brown's record label, Jive, released the song to radio stations and digital download services as a single. After the song became a hit, Jive added it to his 2007 album, "Exclusive," and re-released the album in June. "Forever" reached No. 4 on Billboard magazine's Hot 100 chart last week.

It sounds muddled and cliched to me, but I'd probably say that about all R+B. So sure it's bad, but it's worse than you think. It turns out, the song is actually a stealth advertisement. Did you notice the chorus "Double your pleasure / Double your fun"? Sound familiar? The song is a corporate plant. Wrigley's Gum hired Brown to write and sing this song, paid to have it produced, and paid to release it as a single. All of which they'll be revealing at a press conference today - after it's already become a hit. Farewell pop music.

Maybe I should just sit back and smile at the punking of the American pop music scene - the types of people who listen to mainstream radio, maybe they deserve this. Maybe when you mindlessly tap along with whatever Clear Channel force feeds you, this is the natural product. Maybe this will teach pop music fans to start applying a critical filter to what they hear.

But don't count on it. What this will probably be is just another step in the long decline of our culture into a depressing commercial miasma. When movie theatres started showing ads before movies in the 80s, people booed, but after a few months, they accepted it. Most of our "culture" is already corporate-sponsored anyway - movies have been giant product placement vehicles for years (and now, so is the "news"), television has always been provided free by our corporate overlords, why should music have held out for so long? So, get ready for the billboard 100 to become a corporate derby, for commercials-only radio stations, for rap remixes of Head On's Apply Directly to the Forehead and country ballads asking you to Eat Mor Chikin. We'll get only what we deserve.

Hey, what's on TV?

The purple box means it's a movie.

The album art from John Travolta's "Let Her In"

Meat

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Drunken Santa to deliver presents to children!

I am GuantanamoX

The Torture Playlist:

Music has been used in American military prisons and on bases to induce sleep deprivation, "prolong capture shock," disorient detainees during interrogations—and also drown out screams. Based on a leaked interrogation log, news reports, and the accounts of soldiers and detainees, here are some of the songs that guards and interrogators chose.

Actually, this is probably better than what's on the radio. And isn't playing Rage a little counterproductive? "Fuck you I won't do what you told me".

Who needs "The Dark Knight" when you can watch this?

Alas my friends Techno Viking has arrived!

This one is an oldie but still a classic.

Show Me Your Genitals

More comedy from Jon Lajoie.

Gary Busey on Business.

This is the best thing ever! Here's a sample...

Zombies Might Like This.

Suck the brain ... er... mucus from your child's nose. Nosefrida



From the FAQs:

"I know my child has mucus but nothing comes out. How do I get the really thick stuff out?"

Happy Wigs Day!

BREAKING: Wigs by G's Replaces Top Banner

Internet - Moderately frequented nonsense website Wigs by G's has replaced their classic black and white top banner with a more striking colorful version. The original banner had been in place since the site's inception in 2007.

      AP Photo

Wigs By G's - One Year Anniversary

Today, July 17, marks the one year anniversary of Wigs By G's. I hereby delcare this, "Day By G's". Let us take stock of what we've accomplished so far:

• 13,114 visits to the site
• Roster of 12 Wigmasters
• 318 posts to date
• Coining of the descriptive phrase, "Cock Scent"

Looking back on this past Year By G's, here are my personal top 10 posts in no particular order:

• Penis Power
• My New Favorite Church
• Crackhead Sings In Church (so nice it was posted twice!)
• "Jenkum" or "Butthash"
• I $%#% Slowly
• Atlanta High School Rap Battle
• Alpesh: Best Rapper Alive
• The Cross-dressing Chilean Dorf on Hilary
• Dr. Crowe M.D.
• Smooth Criminal!

Enjoy the new header, now in color!

Eagles are awesome, especially when they breed with Gene Hackman

On the airplane to Boston the other day, there was a man who looked uncannily like the offspring of Gene Hackman and an eagle.

Speaking of eagles, watch this video:


Apparently this was on the real news one time.

Get the funk up!

Everyone remember Prince's "Batdance"?

Prince - Batdance
Uploaded by val6210

...or being in a Dr. Pepper advertisement

And our parlor needs to look like the one in the video.

...or being Rick Astley

Being green is probably easier

Friday Double Feature: Music Edition

Speak, the Hungarian rapper.

Yehh, c'mon. That's right. 9/11. Rest in Peace.

Then there's this, Usher as preformed by Showbiz Pizza house band Rockafire Explosion.

Ten ten one, ten ten two, ten ten three...

Birds of a Feather...

Last night Ferran and I went with Junior and Mel to that new bar on Whitlock called 688, to visit our old friend Jessica who works up there. After several beers (which are all priced at a wonderful $2 a bottle) we ordered some of their $9.95 all you can eat wings. (Which are top notch!) After our first two orders were quickly devoured, we ordered a third basket. The picture above is one of the wings, the lemon pepper deliciousness wasn't just on the wing. It was also coated on the attached feather! In our drunkin state, we proceeded to show everyone at the bar what we had found. I know Vance will have something to say about this...

New Girl Talk album out for download and it's "name your price".

...incidentally, I have named my price "free".

Enjoy "Feed the Animals", could just be the party album of 2008...

Smooth criminal!

Only one day might I aspire to learn such tactful gangsta ways.

Dyslexic

Either this is very clever and shameless, or there are people in the world that are far too naive to drive.

Hey Ana, wanna watch pr0n while we fcuk?*


*-Alternate semi-lame punchline: "You're just begging to get rear ended."

ETA: Also, the tag is stupid for the other reason that Ohio is not the birthplace of aviation.

Yaah, Trick, Yaah!

National Public Radio reviews "Lil Wayne"

I heard this review on National Public Radio yesterday coming home from work with Hinkle (I carpool with him to work and he has a thing about listening to NPR in the car). It features the whitest man they could find at NPR (which makes him close to "clear") reviewing Lil Wayne's new album... ENJOY!
NPR review of Lil Wayne's new album

Time travel

I stayed up all night last night working on something in Photoshop so that by 11 AM I thought it was somehow more reasonable that I had traveled back in time twelve hours and it was magically bright daylight in the middle of the night, rather than acknowledge that it was already the next day.

And here's a picture of some trucks:

Just get in the goddamned truck already! It's fucking free!

You've got to be kidding me

Let's keep our fingers crossed that LV waste disposal is not the future of luxury.

Goodbye Cock Scent

Brought to you by NodorO

My mom taught me how to do this once...

America's Got Talent Clip: Busty Heart Uncensored



After the board crushing, she then went on to crush human heads. Unfortunately, it was too graphic for national television.