Is this legal?

My new favorite church

I'm getting baptized tomorrow

Ironman Comic-Con footage!

This looks soooo fuckin cool!!!

Iron Man - Comic-Con Preview
Uploaded by toma-uno

Booed at the Apollo

I love watching these assholes get booed off the stage.

The end is near?

We have to be somewhere in the middle of the Book of Revelations at this point, Armaggeddon is surely upon us. I know of no other explanation for this.

I just wanted make sure everyone was aware of this horror:

This album is made for 3 speakers, not 2 or 4

3-D Glasses Guy is really getting around lately. I came across this in Best Buy the other day:


The press release reads as follows:

DOPE NEW HOOD ANTHEMS FROM 3-D GLASSES GUY

"Dead Motherfucker$ Can't $ee $hit in 3-D Like Me" is the fifth full-length album from Douglasville, GA songwriting legend and television personality 3D Glasses Guy. Written and recorded completely in prison, it contains 12 slamming tracks spanning the genres of 50's pop, crooning, bossa nova, and Bollywood soundtrack.

The track list is as follows:

1. "Throwin 3 Ds on my Toyota"
2. "You Can't See Anything In 3-D But I In Fact See Everything In 3-D"
3. "D"
4. "Douglasville Dope Deala"
5. "Killing Three People Dead In 3-D"
6. "Drink A Bullet Milkshake"
7. "3 Ds, 1 V"
8. "Talking To George Washington In A Dollar Bill"
9. "Bring The Ice For The Juice"
10. "Getting Too Close To You"
11. "I Know How Deep Your Grave Is (Guess Why, Yes Because Of The 3-D Shit)"
12. "Fuck The Glasses (I'm Too High)"

Home Version

Seriously, the thing doesn't even come with instructions.

BIG Chicken Rampage Leaves 37 dead.

A lot of us are guilty of giving directions to people based on the historical landmark the BIG Chicken. Now, anyone giving directions with the BIG Chicken as a starting point are going to confuse and mis-direct travelers. Why, you ask? Because the Chicken is mobile. Not only mobile, but he is on a killing spree that makes Godzilla look like that gecko from the Geico insurance commercials.
3 nights ago the seemingly peaceful landmark uprooted itself and turned on the citizens of Marietta. "One Minute i was enjoying a bucket of original recipe and the next thing i know that damn big chicken got up and walked off" Patricia Bennett a local dancer from Boomers was quoted as saying.
"If i thought for one second that there was a chance that the Big chicken was even alive i would have gone to Popeye's!" Furry enthusiast Mat Hinkle remarked.
After lumbering across the street the robot chicken monstrosity set it's sights on the local Burger King. Luckily the king himself was at another location, but 12 patrons including slave owner John Dowis were incinerated by what was described as hellfire coming from the beak of the monster. After the brutal attack the chicken seemed satisfied with his work and moved on.
Moments before sucumbing to the injuries sustained during the chicken's attack Mr. Dowis blurted out a few last words."Someone has to kill that big chicken if he's going to go around burning everyone." Chilling words to be sure.
Atlanta area police had trouble finding a suitable weapon to combat this horror. So far small arms fire is completly ineffective. The only effective means of slowing it down happened when a man left his plate of Biscuits and Mashed potatoes on a bench while fleeing the rampaging monster. The Big Chicken seemed to calm down and sit directly beside the food on the plate. This stalled out the robotic giant for a while until a homeless man scarfed up the food that was there. "I was hungry" Chris Jones was quoted as saying. The Big Chicken then proceeded to continue his murderous rampage for several hours until finally disappearing into the night.
Several theories have surfaced as to the origin of this supernatural occurrence ranging from the goofy to the ridiculous. Kennesaw weapons specialist Tyler Lingwall is convinced that the robot chicken is a Decepticon. Several have presented the argument that this is false due to the fact that Decepticons only exist in Transformers movies, cartoons and the fantasies of young men.
Others have speculated that the devil himself is responsible. Although likely, it is not a certainty.
For now the Monster is loose and probably planning it's next attack on the city. If anyone sees the mechanical beast they are urged to contact local law enforcement by way of e-mail. Phone contact is prohibited due to the amount of officers currently deployed in Cobb county to enforce speeding violations.

Bears can't merge for crap

Someone hit a bear on I75 this morning, causing a traffic crisis the likes of which haven't been seen on that particular interstate since... any other fucking morning.

Here's the news with the facts. I heard a comment on the radio this morning that there was actually a fist fight over the carcass of the bear that caused further delays. I guess someone wanted to claim it. Thank God for Southerners.

Vick Pounds Puppies.

Get one before #7 electrocutes u!

Freaky child hand-drummer

Not fair

A slice of history

I almost forgot that's how it all went down.

Wigs By G's Commercial

In case you don't realize just how official we are here at Wigs By G's:

Hinkletech

I came home yesterday and my Xbox 360 stopped working as soon as I tried to watch some bootleg Finnish librarian porn on it. HinkleTech helped me. They helped my neck, they helped my testicles, now I can be a pimp again. So if you have an automobile or tractor related IT problem, come on down to HinkleTech, where my big crusty ass hasn't been washed in about half a score.

www.wigsbygs.com

With the purchase of the new wigsbygs.com domain name, today is the glorious day when you can say to someone on the street, "I just put some funny shit on www.wigsbygs.com, so go check it out!"

Penis Power

Props to Jonz for the tip off on this one...

Get him Shirley

I was thinking about Shirley the other day when I was down the shore at the butcher market. My boy and I picked up an Italian hoagie and soda, and saw this triflin' thang percolating down the boardwalk. You must've been thinking "you's are crazy" when I thought it sexy how that cherry water ice was dripping down her face.

I thought about her again the next day on union break up at the docks. Some guys from the local said they ran into her at the Acme Supermarket. They were like "Yo!" but she wasn't beat for it. Then I strolled up and was all "What's good then?" and she gave me dome back at the flat while I dropped a deuce.

I waved goodbye to her from the stoop as she walked toward the speedline station, and thought how good a mother she would make some day.

"Superfly" Mike McGinley

Kim is a bitch...

...and her wigs ain't shit



This message has been brought to you by the South Atlanta ghetto.

Now this...

Big pieces of solid food were illegal in Afghanistan for the longest time.

Jake Gyllenhaal on all fours getting his "Salad Tossed" by Heath Ledger

The Lost Nintendo Sex Ed. Tape

Check out the "Condom Boots"!

Dear Mr. Vick,

Wrestler Jake the Snake, Wasted

Wrestling is killing me on Youtube lately.

Who Gonna Follow Bob?

I'm nominating Alan Kalter as the perfect new host of The Price is Right.

10 Albums Deep

Sonz of Acworth is approaching it's 10th anniversary of existence as a collective, and coincidentally our 10th proper album is mere weeks away from being complete. For purists keeping score, I am officially declaring that this is the 10th album whether it actually is or is not. Do you count Twisted Wiggeronomy III, The Lost Wiggeronomy? I do. I do not, however, count the Ticket Sale Bribe EP. That shit was strictly intended for promotional use.

Just the other day, John Dowis stopped by the porch to record his first contribution to the SOA legacy since his famous appearance on Sonz of Acworth II: Electric Boogaloo. John provided some blistering guitar for a new track partially inspired by the haunting wall eyed stare of this coked out WWF superstar:



Warning: Don't stare at this shit for too long!

Every time one of our albums gets close to being done, I go through a period of weeks or months trying to adjust each mix to an absurd degree of perfection by listening to them over and over in my car. Yet, I find that when I revisit our older albums years later, they still have parts that sound like horse shit to me. So, maybe it's ultimately useless but I'm straight up OCD when it comes to this. Anyway that's the current status on the SOA front. I might yet sneak in another new track or two before deciding it's the right time to drop these fresh musical bombs on the holy Shiites.

Roll out to the Authority

Wigs By G's is now 100% official on the World Wide Web.